It's been an active year...

It's been an active year for me race wise. So why haven't I posted? I just can't seem to get it together to post lately... okay a little longer than lately.  I've had great successes with endurance events this year and several big PR's. Outside of racing though life has been tough. Seems like it's one thing after another. If anyone has a teenage daughter they may understand.

Being a mother isn't always a rewarding job. Often times we have to make tough decisions. I'm to a point that I'm not sure I can make it through another tough decision. My daughter is a strong willed, moody, demanding, all knowing 14 year old.

This past summer she came back to live with me full time after a year of barely talking to me or fighting with me every time she stayed with me. Unfortunately, this was not by her choice. It's been tough. We've had good times (not that she can remember that when she gets in her moods) and we've had bad times (to her that is all the time). Unfortunately, those bad times happen often. She wants more freedom. She wants to see her dad, who isn't supposed to have contact with her and at one point she didn't want to talk to him or see him. She has recently called him anyways. Of course then I'm the bad guy... for turning him in for child support, for keeping her away from him (mind you by court order, he's a pedophile, he likes teenage girls who are under 17), for working night shift when she was younger so she stayed during the week with my mom and grandma (funny how I made it to her school functions though), for not letting her have more freedom. I'm always the bad guy, but I'm always there for her.

Yes, I expect her to stand up for herself. Yes, I expect her to be respectful and respectable. Yes, I expect her to take responsibility for her actions and behavior. Yes, I expect her to go to school and to get good grades. Yes, expect her to do things around the house. So what does a parent do when these things are not happening?  She doesn't have a phone any more due to it breaking and later her throwing it several times on the driveway when she was mad.  She runs out of the house and doesn't care about consequences. She skips school. She isn't afraid of running away. Her dad is back in town so she knows she can always go to him.

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. All I can do is tie a knot and hold on for dear life.

Psycho Wyco Run Toto Run 2014

My first race of the season, a Trail Nerds event! What better way to start off my year in which I have decided to do a 50k!

The incredible swag we received (a hoodie, a bag, a mug, finisher's medal) and the shirt I wore during the race.

Run Toto Run 2014 was an extremely tough race. A week prior to this race there was a snow fall that came through which gave us about two inches of snow and some had ice under that.Then that Tuesday, we got our biggest snow storm of the season. I was really hoping to get in a couple miles out on the trails after work, but that just didn't happen.

Friday night I helped at packet pickup. I ran into my old high school teacher and we chatted for a while. Met Bryan West, who has a beautiful red husky as his running partner. They were signed up for the 50k. The more Trail Nerds events I do, the more people I recognize and they recognize me. I really enjoy these Trail Nerds events, no matter if I'm participating or volunteering. I seriously considered signing Keeli up for this race and I almost did. However I thought I better do this one without her.

Saturday morning my friend Anna, who had never done any trail running and was signed up to do the 10-miler with me, picked me up at 5:45. She was about 10 minutes early and I wasn't dressed! We head out to help volunteer before our start time of 9am. The 20-milers and 50k folks start time was 8am. Little did Anna and I know that we would be getting an arm workout before our race by filling the water jugs for the aide satations!

This picture shows about 2/3 of the water jugs we filled. We didn't load all of these, but we did load about 10 of these in the truck. 

Funny story about filling these... we had to use the faucet under the men's sink in the heated bathrooms. Sorry to all those guys that had to use somewhere else while two ladies were filling up the jugs!

We saw off the 50k and 20-milers and than got ready for our race. We changed a few clothing items, changed into my running shoes, and ate a little food. I had a very cold banana that Anna was kind enough to share! We ended up chatting with some ladies in the heated bathroom. One lady, came in from Florida! She stated that she had to buy some cold weather running gear the night before. Once we were all toasty, we went back outside. It was nearly time to head to the starting line.

Then we were gathering at the starting line and next thing we were moving. My GPS watch didn't want to find a signal at first, so I stopped messing with it and started my phone app. I like to compare the two, sometimes my phone app has me shooting off across rivers and flying to near by cities. We started as a group, but quickly went to down to two running paths across the bridge and field before bottle necking onto the single track trail, at least I was able to get GPS on my watch and started it. We were in for a big surprise though... 

The snow wasn't packing down, it was all soft and fluffy... shoot, not what I was expecting or hoping for! Traction was horrible, imagine running through lose sand or mashed potatoes. Every step had a little slide to it. My ankles quickly became sore and somewhat painful. I started to wonder if I was going to survive or find myself in one of those shallow graves I've heard talked about on the Trail Nerds Facebook page. I wasn't whining, but I felt like I was moving slower than a "turtle stampeding through peanut butter." There was five us in the back, the lady from Florida was in with us. Talked with her for a little bit, found out her name was Nancy, she's an English teacher for 10th graders and she's going to have book published next year. I didn't want to leave my friend Anna behind, so I stopped once in a while or slowed down. We took some selfies and kept moving.

We came across a creek that was partially frozen. I didn't want to get my feet wet that was for sure, so I cautiously walked across the thickest ice I could find. Nancy however just went for it! The five of us stayed fairly close together until right before the triangle. At the aide station Anna caught up with me and we went through the maze. Nancy left us and we left the two ladies behind that were behind us. We had some funny moments and had to stop again when we had to go over a tree limb. Perfect place for a pic...

Coming out of the “triangle” I found myself on my own again for a little while. I took this time to remember why I started and who I was doing this for this time. Early that morning, I posted on Facebook that I was dedicating this run to my friend Tammy. She’s currently battling breast cancer and she is awaiting some test results to figure out her next steps in her plan of action. I began to say a prayer for her and for her family. Honestly, I don’t remember much of the trail at this point; I just remember praying my heart out for Tammy. Yes, I pray while I am on the go. It helps me mentally and physically. This wouldn’t be the only time I prayed during this event either…

At this point I do remember sliding down a hill and then coming to a steep uphill with a narrow passage. I had hoped no one faster would be coming behind me; however someone did come up behind me. When I was able to, I let them pass.  I slowed down and Anna caught up again. Then we came upon “fall down” hill, surprisingly it wasn't too bad. It was fun to be able to pick up some speed and go! At one point I grabbed a hold of a tree to keep standing upright while I let someone pass. It made me laugh; I was picturing myself standing there holding onto a small tree so I wouldn't fall while staying out of the way of others passing.

Then there was a flat open field which led to the “dam” hill. The hill is at the dam and we must go up 

and around a slight curve and waiting at the top was a mound of snow from the roads being plowed. It was soft; it just wasn’t easy to get up to the road where the next aide station was located. At this point I had a GU and drank a little water and asked for Advil or something, my hip was hurting. From here it was road for about a third of a mile or something and it was up hill mostly. 

There is a point here on the road that you can look out and see open field, I-435, and the tree line that follows the Missouri River.

Courtesy of Mile90 photography 

Then it was back into the forest we went. We knew that from here on out, there were going to be some massive hill climbing for us, but first some downhill… Here we ran into the photographer Rick (I’ve done some trail running at Smithville with his wife Kristi. Together they make up Mile 90 Photography – check them out here: www.mile90.com ). 

After this, we headed to Fester’s Wander. There are a couple of hills in this area that has ropes to help you get up the hill and this is one of them. Sometime between Fester’s Wander and the last aide station I hit a wall, I don’t know why I was shocked, but I was. I never hit a wall with this low of mileage. It sucked, my legs didn’t want to work and then my stomach started growling at me. Well darn... I didn’t plan my fueling very well. I just wanted to sit down, but just kept going one slow step in front of the other slow step. “Come on feet,” I was yelling to myself in my head. I did little cursing in my head. I almost wanted to beat my head against any one of the plethora of trees, multiple times slowly telling myself “what was I thinking when I decided to do this event, in the flipping snow?” My hip was hurting, which was also making my inner thigh hurt. I just kept going, wonder what was going to hurt next. Oh yeah, my back! Nearly every trail run/walk I do, my back tends to hurt. This was no different. “Check your posture,” I told myself. “Shoulders back, head up,” slight pause “watch where you’re going!” Then the singing in my head started (at least it stayed in my head. I’ve been known to start making up songs and singing them out loud)… oh my! “Just keep moving just keep moving” was going through my head for a while to the tune Dorie sang in Finding Nemo. You know the one where she’s singing “just keep swimming?”

Then Anna asked me if I wanted a fruit strip. Oh heck yeah, a fruit strip! It tasted so awesome, much better than my GU. I’m going to have to remember to ask Anna what kind of fruit strips those were. I pulled out my water bottle and drank some (first time using this water bottle belt). I just have to remember to make sure the cap is screwed on all the way after filling it. Other than that, I had no problems.

I started feeling better. Anna was going slow, we both felt like we were getting slower and slower and slower…  we crossed another open field and more people passed. Yes, that gets a little discouraging, but at the same time it is so impressive to watch these guys and gals. I noticed that Bryan and his beautiful red husky, Kayta, hadn’t passed us yet. I really thought they would have by now. I hoped he was okay, I hoped Kayta was okay.

Then there were more hills and more hills and hey, finally the last aide station! Give props to these guys at this aide station! They asked me how I was doing and if I was going to finish. My reply was simply, “I’ve come this far, even if I have to crawl across the finish line, I am going to finish this thing!” They gave me cheers and encouragement and asked if I wanted some beer. Okay here’s the deal, I’m not a huge beer fan, unless I’ve been running and then bring it on. Seems as though I can enjoy a different kind of beer (Sixth glass, IPA, ect.) during or after a run, however it will taste disgusting to me if I haven’t been running/exercising (sixth glass for sure is like this for me).  Anyway, I enjoyed both kinds they gave me, although I am not sure what they were, but one of them was thicker. Hmm, tasty, especially followed up with a handful of Peanut M&Ms! Belch!

The homestretch and the toughest part of the race were upon us. Three back to back hills, the three sisters as some call them, while others may refer to them as the three bitches. I’ve been on this part of the course before (summer Pyscho 5k – which was my first trail race) and I have to admit, they made me cry the first time, but also made me stronger mentally. This time I wasn’t going to let them make me cry. I hit the first hill and a faster person came up behind us. I stepped to the side and let them pass, but he was encouraging and I stepped back on the trail and kept up with him for about half the hill following in his tracks. I pushed myself. This hill was never ending! Again I started pulling ahead of Anna, but I didn’t want to slow down in the middle of this climb. Luckily, the people coming up behind me didn’t catch me until the top.

The terrain seemed so different than I remembered with the snow cover. At some point after this first hill, Bryan finally caught up and passed me. I asked him how he was and he stated he rolled his ankle pretty badly the first loop around. He was still going though, but I could see the disappointment and frustration in his face.

After they passed, I looked back and caught a glimpse of Anna. I yelled to make sure she was okay. She said she was and that she was just losing steam. I hope I gave her some encouraging words, but really I don’t remember. I think this was the last time I saw her (later she told me I could have left her a long time ago). I had to keep moving. I felt good, but I was tired and my hip was still bothering me. I said another prayer and thought about Tammy and her battle again. I kept pushing through those hills, going, going, and going. Finally I recognized the final slope, I could hear the DJ. I just had to get through this last upward slope.

I turned the corner and there, much to my relief was the finish line! I saw the timer glowing in red, laughing at me, and thought “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!”  Some very serious curse words were going through my head. There was Kristi, the other photographer waiting there to take finish line photos, so I had to smile my funky frown smile and with thumbs up, I crossed the finish line. 

Courtesy of Mile90 photography

I stopped my GPS watch (9.99 miles) and my phone app (11.39 miles), got my medal and exchanged words with the guy, talked to Kristi for a minute and then turned around and headed back on the trail to encourage Anna. I got to the turn and there she was! I ran with her to where the gates were and then ran on the outside to the finish. After she got her medal, gave her a high five, and I introduced her to Kristi. Then we went to the shelter there at the finish line.

We were so hungry. We had a small bowl of Chili, only because we didn’t know where the closest Taco Bueno was. Talked with Bryan for a few minutes and I gave Kayta a few pets ( btw here’s his report: http://a-runners-journey.blogspot.com/ ). Then we headed out. We both changed shoes. I had forgotten my other pair of socks at home, so she let me use her extra pair. I have to give many thanks to Anna! She picked me up from my apartment, shared her food with me, shared her extra socks with me, and took me home after we stopped at Taco Bueno for food. 

Thanks also goes out to all the other runners who passed me and gave me encouragement, being one of the slowest out there can be pretty tough mentally. Thanks to the volunteers, you rock as always! Thanks to Ben for putting these events on. 

As tough as trail running is, I love it! This was my third trail event and 2^nd with the Trail Nerds. I am definitely planning more trail events this year and I will be taking Keeli with me. She’s going to love it for sure!